3.3. Vladimir
When Vladimir (a.k.a. “Vlad”) arrived here for a preliminary visit with his parents, he was very shy and “scared”, and even saying/shouting something like “aaaaaaaa, aaaaaaaaaaa” all the time during the first minutes. I thought that it would be very difficult.
When he finally came to spend the 10-day season, he started to play rather quickly with the other kids and the instructors, especially with the ball.
After some days, I finally noticed that instead of sending the ball where it was supposed to go, he was sending it in places difficult to access, and laughing. The instructors were believing that he was a bit “stupid” (because of his autism), or “unable” to play correctly.
But I remember him watching other kids playing with a frisbee (flying disc) and laughing a lot, each time the disc was sent to difficult places, forcing someone to climb a wall etc.
So I immediately understood that in fact he was not playing with the ball… but with the instructors ! (Which I can understand, because it is obviously much more funny that putting a ball in a hole, and, as an autistic, he does not (yet) understand that it is not fair for the instructors.)
So I explained that to the instructors, and they changed their point of view, and each time he was sending the ball in difficult places, he had to go there by himself to retrieve it…
Soon after, he was playing correctly…
This is a simple example of the very numerous cases where “normal people” think that *we* do not understand, whereas it is *themselves* who don’t understand.
Apart from that, I did not really approach him, because I thought that I had to go very slowly and cautiously with him, to gain his trust. A few days before the end, I started an experience with him, being alone in a room (with Adiyar as a translator), without anything to “disturb”, and trying to “communicate” better with him. But probably the conditions were not “good enough”, or at least one of the 3 persons was not in the proper “mood”, so it did not yield significant results. We could only notice that his only two very clear answers were when we asked “do you want us to sit more far” (yes) and “what do you want to do” (go outside). Then, only when he was motivated, and when the questions were not too much “abstract” (for instance we could talk about the colours of our clothes, but much less about “what he likes in general” – this is typical of autism : most of us (including me) like the “concrete” and “clearly useful”).
This boy is very logical (which is “normal” for an autistic) and I did not think enough about a justification to bring him in this situation, this room.
However, I noticed that during all the rest of the stay, he was greeting me all the time (“paka, paka !”, meaning “hello, hello” in Russian), and one day he even came directly to sit close to me, at my table.
So I regretted to have been so slow and cautious with him.
But anyway he really loved the camp, and I even saw him dancing (and dancing well) during the “night-club” sessions, and… I’ve even heard about some (very “innocent”) kisses with some girls ! 😉
So, for sure it was a very nice vacation for him, he liked to be with the other children, and not to be treated like “sick”.
I am very glad to contribute to make these kids happy, and, as much as possible, to help them and their families to find “the right paths”.
Remark of 2021:
However, as I’m updating this report, thinking back about Vladimir I almost feel a little “guilty” (even though I had no obligation).
Indeed, he was the boy for whom I saw the least results (apart from the fact that he was happy with the stay), and I think that I should have spent much more time for him, and that it would have led to a significant change (as we saw with the others).
But I was actually very focused on my computer with the plans for Autistan, and since the stays were going well, and the instructors and staff clearly understood the little that was needed to be understood and were applying it (a matter of attitude), I didn’t actually need to do much, in general. I was more or less monitoring the whole thing a bit “from afar” (from Autistan..), and I was there to give help and advice if there were any difficulties or questions, which happened, and which went well.
I should have forced myself to limit my time in front of the computer, and to set a minimum number of hours for the children, and in meetings with the instructors.
But when there is so much to do (projects for Autistan or to help autistic people in the world in general), one deals with what seems most urgent or important, and this prevented me from seeing that it would have been useful to take more time for Vladimir.