– Tima, third page –

3.6.5. Setting the tables of the restaurant room

On the 6th of August, after 3 days of adaptations and such fast progress, I had (once again) an “inspiration”: that Tima should do “useful things”, like setting all the tables for each meal.
Everyone found it was a good idea, so we started to teach him how to do it.

(back to) 06/08:

06/08/2016 (first day of “restaurant training”, before the lunch) – In this video, we can see the very beginning of this “training” which lasted several days.
Zhanat’s eldest daughter (who was not part of the team but was present that day) helps me with the translations and to “coach” Tima.
To start with, we just ask him to put 6 forks on each table.
At the beginning of the clip, I notice that he has assembled 6 forks together in a well aligned way, which is typically autistic (cf. the “coherence” I often mention).
Then it’s a bit difficult to get him to focus (especially on counting 6 forks), and he’s constantly pulling his inseparable modelling clay (or “plasticine”) out of his pocket, but gradually he becomes more attentive.
In this clip, you can also see my “desk” (with an Autistan flag), on the corner of a table.

Here is the next part, just a few moments later.
We ask him to count the forks out loud, and find out on which table they are missing.
And as he has done what was asked, he can go and play with his modelling clay.

Then we ask him to put the paper napkins on the tables.
As he always has the reflex to take his modelling clay in his pocket, I say that it might be easier to take it from him and give it back to him only at the end, but Zhanat’s daughter tells me that Tima has to learn (to control himself), and she is right.
I tell her that she is used to that, with her brother Alibek (who is autistic and also a fan of modelling clay – like Mansur).

Next, a slightly more complicated step: we ask him to put the glasses on each table, taking the glasses two by two from the kitchen.
It’s also a bit “dangerous” because there is a stair step.
During all these days of “training”, I was often afraid that he would miss the step and break glasses or plates or pots of water, which would not be so terrible but which never happened because his learning was very progressive, and he became more and more attentive, very slowly.
In fact, he had no choice but to become attentive (i.e. to learn and get used to being attentive), because if on the 3rd day he had been as poorly dexterous as on the 1st day, he would have dropped some things for sure.

Here, in a moment of rest, we try to make him talk a little.
We ask him his first name and he answers “Timka” (short for “Tima”).
He says that he is making a bone with his modelling clay (which he calls “plastiline”).
I have him make a sentence (very simple) instead of one word.
He makes his bone. I had already noticed since February that he makes his animals or objects, without even needing to watch his movements. Sometimes he makes animals while walking, i.e. while looking elsewhere.
Then he makes a ball. And he starts to turn his bone into a baby…
Then he doesn’t want to talk so much, and we would like him to talk louder.
By asking him the same thing several times, little by little he does it.
You just have to insist gently. Usually 3 repetitions are enough (with him).
At the end, although he is smiling and quiet, he needs to hide a bit beside the table.
For 4 minutes, two people have been asking him questions with insistence, and from his point of view, it is certainly not very interesting, and rather boring.
Four minutes is a long time, when he just wants to be quiet with his modelling clay.

Here, only 1 hour and 40 minutes after the very beginning of this “training”, we can see that he is already walking much faster and looks more involved in what he is doing.
However, he tends to sit down as if the meal was about to be served 🙂

This very short clip simply shows that for this first day, he is not the one we ask to carry the drink jars, which are quite heavy, and made of glass.
Moreover, at this stage, this is not even imaginable because we can see his awkwardness in these first clips, even for light things – and it is quite logical since obviously he is not used to such things.

A well deserved meal 🙂

Anyway, he made great progress in these tasks, and at the end, the result was not so far from my expectations.

In the beginning, it was really difficult, but after explaining and showing how to do, for each action, little by little he managed to do it and to improve quickly.
At first, after each action (like putting a plate on the table), he would just sit and wait for eating, but at the end of the stay, he did not do that anymore.

06/08/2016 (first day of “restaurant training”, before the dinner)

Here, his dedicated instructor asks him to put spoons on the tables.
This clip takes place 7 hours and 20 minutes after the very beginning, but since it is the start of a second “training” (for the evening meal), he has already lost his attention.

Here, only 12 minutes after the previous clip, things are going much better.
He puts the full plates (without dropping anything), and he even walks rather quickly.
(I couldn’t record everything; there are already a lot of other things on the tables and it’s likely that someone else has put them).
We see that he doesn’t even need to pay attention to the stair step, and that he doesn’t seem bored anymore like in the previous clip.

In this very short clip, Tima helps clear the tables after dinner.

Here he learns to clean tables (these are all things that he is obviously doing for the first time).

In the beginning, it was so hard for him to manage to do anything, that we would not even dare to think about asking him to carry the hot tea (in a glass recipient) – for fear that he would break it by letting it fall, as he was obviously not used to it) – but after 2 days he was carrying two of these recipients without problems.
Same for the drinking glasses: after only two days, he used to carry 3 glasses in each hand. And so on.

07/08:

07/08/2016 (beginning of the second day of “restaurant training”, before the breakfast)
For this third meal, he’s already taking glasses in sets of four instead of two. But it’s a bit complicated because one has to put 6 glasses per table, which means that groups of 4 have to be divided.
(Indeed, there is something “not consistent” in the mechanism of first grouping 4 glasses, and then dividing them by 2 again, like on the first day). But everything is learned little by little.

Here he is taking care of the spoons. He has a bit of trouble stopping after 6. We can briefly see Zhanat, who is glad and a bit surprised to see Tima already “at work” seriously, early in the morning.
Then Tima carries plates (I remind that he never dropped anything, during his whole stay).
He sits down like if everything was finished, we tell him that it’s not finished.
Today we didn’t tell him where to put the spoons and plates, and he figured out on his own that there should be 6 per table. (Remember that less than 24 hours ago it was very difficult to get him to do these very simple things, which makes sense since it’s his first time).
Then he pours something into the plates, and that’s not so bad for the first time.
Little by little he learns to hold the ladle correctly. On the first try it wasn’t good at all, on the second it was better, and on the third (the third time he poured something) it was pretty decent.
By the fourth time (the fourth plate) it’s fine, and by the fifth plate he’s already repeating the actions without having to be asked 🙂
If you’re watchful, you can really detect improvements every time he repeats an action. He learns very quickly, for someone who “can’t do anything” 🙂

Improvement of the handling of the ladle. In fact, it’s not so easy when you’re not used to it.

30 minutes later, in this clip of only 7 seconds, we see him carrying a heavy tray for clearing the tables.
His instructor helps him a bit to make sure he doesn’t fall down the step (which he can hardly see because of the tray).

Cleaning the tables (10 seconds clip)

Finally, he was behaving almost like the employee of a restaurant, and it was amazing to see that, to see this “little autistic” doing these tasks rather seriously and correctly, whereas one week ago he was looking like coming straight out of a “teddybears shop”…
Zhanat and me we had the same idea: that he could work as a waiter in his future, or at least in a restaurant, even in the kitchen.

08/08:

Now, on the morning of 08/08, which is his second morning and third day of “training”.
Remember that at the beginning he was only carrying two glasses at the same time, and it was difficult to make him understand that.
On the second day, he carried glasses in groups of 4 (two per hand), but this was not the most logical thing for tables of 6 people.
And now, on the third day, he carries 6 glasses (three in each hand), which is fine for tables of 6.
You can observe that from the second table onwards, when he has carried his 6 glasses well without problems for the first time, he starts to smile and be happy.
In fact, with Tima we could notice progress almost every minute 🙂
Those children should be given opportunities, instead of thinking that they “can’t do anything”, or for “safety reasons”.
And even if they break a glass, it doesn’t matter. It has already happened to everyone.

In this clip of only 10 seconds, we see him carrying full plates, one in each hand, from the kitchen, without dropping anything.
(I think that even for many non-autistic people, this is not so easy).
We are already a long way from the days when he constantly had the reflex of taking his modelling paste in his pocket, which was… only 48 hours earlier 🙂

Spoons…

Still on 08/08, at lunch time (12:54) – Now he is carrying big jugs of hot tea, one in each hand, and it is heavy for such a frail boy who apparently had not carried much before.
Yet he does it, whereas two days earlier it seemed unimaginable.
At the end of the clip, he can be seen walking quickly back to the kitchen, which means that he wants to do things the best he can.

Now the plates…

Lunch…

08/08 at 16:09 (time that you can see on the clock at the end of the clip, not at the beginning)
Tima seems very comfortable doing this “job” (and that’s when I started to think that with a little more practice he could work “for real” in this area (and probably in some other ones)).
He is correctly arranging the groups of 6 glasses on the tables by lining them up in rows of 3 (I asked him to do this, just in order to train him do do things well).
He has instinctively found a “good way” to carry the heavy jugs (which we can see also in the previous clip), and he does it without any problem and without even looking at the stair step (he walks looking at me), although he only started this 3 hours earlier, and this is only his 5th “transportation” with two heavy jugs.

Still on August 8, at 7:19 pm (for dinner).
Now he carries trays with 3 full plates.
We ask him to line up the plates on the tables.
(Here he’s taking care of the second last table on the right.)

Still on 08/08, at 19:22 (3 mn later).
Here we can see that there are several tables of 6 people where everything is quite well arranged, and it is him who brought everything and aligned it.
I explain that for the first table, which must have 4 people and not 6, we’ll see that later because it’s not logical for him, and therefore we must avoid confusing him with things whose “justification” is not apparent.
As long as everything is logical and coherent (everything aligned, centred, identical), it’s quite easy for an autistic person. The problem is arbitrariness and approximation (since it cannot be “justified”).
At the end of the clip, he puts the plates on the last table on the right.

We also taught Tima how to do some things in the kitchen, like cutting or peeling vegetables, and he did it well, for someone so (obviously) inexperienced.

(2 photos taken by instructors and sent to me)

Still on the 8th of August, before lunch time.

The progresses that you have seen above were not made in 10 days, but in only 2 days, starting “from the scratch” on 08/06/2016.
That is to say starting from the level “almost like a little teddy bear” to reach the level “almost like a restaurant waiter (beginner)”, after only a few “services” in a few hours.
So one can imagine that there would be very good results (for various things, not just for “manual and repetitive” things) in a week, in a month, etc.

I do think that he can work not only in a restaurant but in many other places (like with mechanics, wood, garden, animals, cleaning, etc.).
Even if he does not speak a lot, where is the problem? Sometimes it’s better, instead of saying stupid things. And he is so kind and lovely.

09/08:

For this day 09/08, there was no “restaurant service training”, the pictures and videos are:
– in the previous chapter (“3.6.4. Participation to the “normal” activities)
(He made many activities, he went to the village, he got a certificate…)
– in the next chapter (“3.6.6. Pancakes and Happiness”) (which is, in my opinion, maybe the best moment of his stay).

10/08: 

My intention was to make him able to set all the tables of the restaurant room correctly without instructions, “automatically”, at the end of the stay, but I did not have enough “rights” in order to optimize the work of the staff in relation with Tima. (I can explain more about that.) 
Anyway, Tima did very well.

18h22 – Now, Tima is doing the things by himself (his instructor is in the kitchen, and I don’t say anything).
You can see how happy he is doing this, for example at the end of this video clip (or in the last picture below, taken from the same clip).


Happiness 🙂

11/08 (The last day before returning home the next day):

9h08 (breakfast)

12h08 (lunch time) – Here, among other things, he puts and aligns the glasses correctly on the tables.
You can see that he is smiling almost all the time (unlike his instructor, who is tired – since yesterday – because of my level of exigency about these exercises). Tima is always full of goodwill 🙂
Below are some pictures taken from this video clip which is quite long (5’37”) but interesting.


Here you can see another person who was also setting the table, which obviously interfered with my plans, and – as already explained above – I didn’t have enough prerogatives. But nothing is perfect, and for a start it was very good. For a future occasion (in any country), I will now know what needs to be clarified from the start. After all, this was an improvised experience and everyone did their best.
For Tima, all was fine, he was rather autonomous and happy doing all that. 

Really happy 🙂

This is the follow-up to the previous video, he continues to set the tables. He is always smiling, sometimes laughing.
At about 0’58”, the kitchen staff tell him to bring the tea, although it’s not yet the right time (he still has a basket of bread to bring). So I ask the instructor to tell the staff not to interfere. Then Tima can continue without being disturbed. Tima takes care of half the tables (on the right).

Now it’s dinner time. We ask Tima to try to centre the glasses on the table correctly.

A few seconds later, I take off the glasses and ask him to redo the same thing on the 3 tables, and he does it perfectly 🙂 
Then he puts in the 6 spoons, without having to be asked. He is obviously very happy and laughs 🙂

He continues to bring things on the tables. We ask him to line up the plates.

Let’s remind here that this child did not know how to do almost anything because he was not used to it, because of the unfortunately common assumption that those children ” cannot do anything “, or ” do not understand anything “.
This is a real pity (for hundreds of thousands of autistic children).
Things may be more difficult for other autistic children (and in that case the right adaptations, motivations, “justifications” etc. must be found), but in Tima’s case, it is certain that :
– he understands very quickly ;
– he can do a lot of things (you just have to give him chances to do so, and help him a little bit at the beginning, like for all children and even adults);
– we have not seen the mysterious “problems” or “things that could go wrong” (which seems to correspond to “fear of the unknown” or the major problem of “over-protection”, discussed later in Chapter 6.1.7.)

Only a few seconds when he finishes setting the tables while the other children start to arrive.

21h50
Last photo of Tima setting the tables…

Tomorrow, it’s the departure to go back home, and it’s the end of a dream stay for him, where he was very happy and where he could evolve a lot.
This is undeniable: to have proof of this, you only have to look at the differences between the photos /videos of the beginning and those of the last few days (especially from the pancake episode onwards: see the next chapter (3.6.6.), which is also the last one in this article, about Tima).

Tima’s section is divided into several pages because it is really long: please click on the next chapter in the Table of Contents below, or on the next page, in the list of page numbers under the Table of Contents.