– Tima, second page –

3.6.4. Participation to the “normal activities”

During the first 3 days of “adaptation time”, “his instructor” managed little by little to “kindly force him” to do like the other kids, to participate in almost all the activities (which was sometimes difficult, because he was very weak, and not used to any physical effort, even very light).
For example, he had to learn how to do the “gym exercises” in the morning, which was really difficult at the beginning (it was like if you try to force a cat or a dog to do that, with almost no result nor attention nor interest).
Indeed, it was of course impossible for him to understand the point in doing thoses exercises (and we did not even try to explain it), hence, as I explain usually, if there is no “justification”, then it cannot really “remain in the autistic brain”.
Which seems logical, and even “a safe mechanism”, I would say.
But Tima seemed to understand that those exercises were important and expected from him, and finally he managed to do them rather quickly, with improvements that were really noticeable every day.

04/08:

8h40 – First morning after sleeping at the camp for Tima, on 04/08.
His dedicated instructor was always behind him, and sometimes helping him for the movements.
He seems rather happy about what he has done, and it’s only his first morning…
(Arthur walks calmly and almost seriously, which very different from his first day. You can remember the first clip on the swingset, when he was talking to himself. And during the first walk, we had to hold him by the hand all the time, given that he was running anywhere.)

He went also several times with the others in trekking in the mountain, and I noticed, on the pictures and when he was back, that this made him “more present, more with us”, and that when he was tired after the physical effort, he was behaving “more normally”.

9h35 – Before going on a walk.
(You can notice also that Arthur (at right) is very calm and he does not run and speak all the time like one month before, during his first days.)
I did not go with them, because I went to the city centre with Zhanat to receive the very first material flag of Autistan.

(Click to enlarge)
4 August 2016: the very first flag of Autistan, in the office of the company that prints the flags.
This is a historic moment 🙂
I remind that I was spending most of my time working on my computer about Autistan and autism in general, and that I was only ” monitoring” what was going on at the summer camp “from a distance”, except of course when I was asked for advice or help, or when I wanted to try more specific or personalised things with some children, as for example here with Tima.
I had just finished this design, having modified it after asking the opinion of autistic people in various countries (initially it was only blue and white, which was not as good).
And Zhanat helped with the manufacturing, given that she knew where to do it.

Sewing the very first printed flag in the factory 🙂
In fact, it was a sample they had made, so that I could check the print quality and the nature of the material.
(You may click to enlarge the image, or see the article about the Flag here.)

(Photo taken by instructors and sent to me)

19h33

21h30

Arthur and Tima 21h36

21h54

Here, he prepares to go to sleep. He seems very joyful.
I ask him how he is doing, and he says something (one word, repeated) that I don’t understand. Then I wish him good night.
(There was an instructor next to me (who you can hear indicating the towel to Tima) but I think he didn’t know how to translate this word).
In this video you can see that Tima’s bag is blue, but when he arrived he was carrying a much smaller red bag, and his sister was carrying the blue bag, maybe because she thought it was too heavy for him.
We observed that at the beginning he had difficulties to carry things (even light ones).
It was as if everything had always been done for him, in his place.

21h56 – Serenity 🙂

05/08:

10h32 – In front of the “little house in the mountain” (belonging to the Pioneer Mountain Resort)

Tima and Arthur

10h45 – Tima showing the very first physical flag of Autistan, made the day before

10h51 – Tima entering that mysterious house, after we finally managed to unlock the door.
The locking system (very special and clever) is masked in this photo, for security reasons.
This door had not been opened for ages, and it took us about half an hour to get it open.
As with autistic people, if you try to force things, and do it in a “normal” or “as usual” way, it doesn’t work at all, it stays closed or blocked.
And that’s what we did during the first part of our attempts.
Then, we had to think, and to use this “key” (or this special tool) in an adapted way, by making various tests to try to understand how the system worked, i.e. what was the “hidden mechanism behind”.
Just like with autistic people.
And through perseverance and various attempts, we finally found out 🙂
One thing is certain: that there was no “normal” way to open that door.
And that this system was designed very differently from “normal systems”.

Discoveries…
There were no hidden treasures, but this little “adventure” was still rather unexpected in a mountain walk.
And the children could see that it was genuine, considering how long it took us to open the door.
(Zhanat had given me the special key (or “tool”), proposing that I try to enter, so that I could have a better idea of the interior of this house, for a project of the first “Autistan Embassy in the mountains” (or even a “refuge for autistic people”, if one day we could find the means to renovate it (as it is not very attractive as it is), and to re-install the electricity).

20h54

06/08:

That day, we started the idea that I had, which was to get Tima used to doing things that were “concrete and useful” (and difficult for him), by setting the table in the restaurant.
See the next chapter (“3.6.5. Setting the tables of the restaurant room”).

07/08:

These pictures are from the morning of 07/08.
You can see that he doesn’t need help anymore (his instructor is not behind but besides, and does not watch him), and that he really tries to do what the others do (and he does it quite well for a start).
It’s just a matter of habit. But if you never start or try, it makes sense that you don’t know how to do anything. It’s not so terrible if for an autistic child you have to repeat things more times.

The fact of seeing all the other kids doing those exercises every morning and that all that was looking “normal and easy” for them, certainly contributed a lot.
Like I already said, it was like if we asked him to learn in a few days things that others learnt in several years, therefore, in fact, he was progressing very fast, given that he was starting from “very low”.

On 07/08, before another trek.

After a few days, the differences were visible in many things: he was walking “more normally” (whereas at first, he was sometimes running almost a bit like a monkey); he was standing and sitting more straight and normally (whereas at first, he was more often in a kind of “foetus position”); he had more attention and interactions (looking at us, trying to do what was asked); and finally he quickly changed and looked more serious and more like a young adolescent, not like a “teddybear”.

And also, we could see on his face that he was getting happier and happier during this stay (you can see it in the photos).

I think that this is thanks to the fact that we did not treat him as a baby (which was certainly new for him, but most welcome, and interesting), and because he had the examples of all the others, so he could (consciously or not) copy them.
Zhanat and I and the instructors were quite often sharing our thoughts about these spectacular changes, mainly to confirm things to each other, to verify that we were not “dreaming”.

We were taking pictures all the time and I was constantly sending pictures and news to his sister. After 2 or 3 days, she was feeling better, and then she asked for news only 2 or 3 times per day 🙂

(4 photos taken by instructors and sent to me)

08/08:

Playing with a “non-special” child

Carrying something rather heavy

(10 photos taken by instructors and sent to me)

(Click to enlarge the image.)
While Tima is trying out games, I also have “games” of my age, which consist of studying various ways of attaching the very large flag of Autistan (2.26 x 1.40 m) to the “little house in the mountains “, but this idea was technically complicated and I had not yet found “the simple and inexpensive idea that solves everything” (which is one of my specialties, even if it is not done “by the book” or “as usual”, the important thing is that it works).
This quick drawing – which I made – is annotated in Russian by a local handyman to whom I explained my idea.
For this flag pole, obviously when you have the financial means it is not difficult: you “simply” have to buy a flag pole of 9 meters and to make a sufficiently resistant concrete base, but it was a lot too expensive for me, and what I did cost only a few tubes and shovel shafts, less than 100 € (which Pioneer Mountain Resort kindly paid).
See the result in the corresponding article about that “little house”.

09/08:

On the next day, the 9th of August, some games in the morning.

(This is a certificate with the full first name of Tima (Temirlan) written on it, and the word “massage” appearing many times. He had a massage session, which explains his little trip to the village down there.) 

Attentive…

(The last 17 photos above have been taken by instructors and sent to me)
In this picture we see Tima at the centre, with Arthur right behind him.
In addition, he seems to have made a friend, who obviously does not reject him.
The autistic children were not “excluded from the community” as usual (which often comes from a kind of “fear of not knowing what to do with them”).
As I explained at the beginning of this article, it was sufficient to warn the other children, as soon as they arrived, of the presence of some “special” children, and to tell them that they were not “crazy” and that there was nothing to worry about because we were handling it completely (and they could see that there was even a foreigner (me) especially for this).
The children also saw that the monitors were very caring with these special children, as if they were “fragile”, so the very idea of rejecting them could not occur to them.
And therefore they did as we adults did, i.e. by “accepting” with kindness and attention, naturally, without forcing themselves.
And given that the “different” children were (finally) treated well and accepted (respecting their differences), they felt good and they almost never had a “crisis” (or maybe only 1 minute per stay on average per “special” child, which is nothing).
Thus it is a virtuous circle, and thus it is “natural” inclusion, not just “on paper”.
This is very different from the usual approaches, which unfortunately are based on the idea that the autistic child is “defective” rather than “different”, and in which, therefore, the rare attempts of inclusion are difficult because they are “artificial”, they are not really sincere.
In summary, one of the keys to success is a good understanding of autism (or if not understanding, at least respect).
Poor understanding leads to rejection and exclusion, and therefore difficulties, crises etc., it is a vicious circle.

For this day 09/08, there are more pictures (and one video), that you will see in the chapter “3.6.6. Pancakes and Happiness”.

10/08:

(7 photos taken by instructors and sent to me)
Here, Tima looks a bit more “present” than the day before. Which is logical when you are “naturally included”, like the others, or even better than the others.
He is still in the centre, like Arthur.
It seems that they have organised a “top girls” election :-)…
(I didn’t often go to the main building, where a lot of activities took place in the evening, because I was working almost all the time with my computer in the restaurant room. And my bedroom was in another building.)

11/08 (last day of activities for this “season”):

Friendship! 🙂
Only 8 days after his arrival, the change was really visible. It was even striking!
At first, he looked like a young child who only thinks about having fun on the swing and with his modelling clay, without paying attention to the rest or to what was said to him, and now he looked like a teenager of his age (13, I think).
Did you notice that the modelling clay (which was omnipresent and seemed almost vital to him during the first few days) has completely disappeared from the photos and videos in the latest few days?

(5 photos taken by instructors and sent to me)
Pure happiness 🙂

11/08 – This is a message sent by Bota, Tima’s sister, to express her gratitude to Jean-Marc Bonifay, the (autistic) president of the French association Autisme PACA who offered Tima this stay.
She writes that she and her family are very happy to see, in the photos and videos that send to them every day, that their brother is so happy, and all those good changes.

Tima, very calm and seemingly happy, sitting in front of me (at my “desk”) and holding a table flag of Autistan.
I did not ask him to come and sit to take this flag. Maybe it’s his way of thanking me for the stay 🙂
I find him particularly serene in these photos. And also, “connected” and perhaps “perfect”.

Arthur and Tima holding a big flag of Autistan (1 x 1,62 m), received today.

Tima’s section is divided into several pages because it is really long: please click on the next chapter in the Table of Contents below, or on the next page, in the list of page numbers under the Table of Contents.